Meditation is the way to be with ourselves and to learn to accept our own aloneness.
In aloneness, I experiment with being consciously alone as a door to be egoless. In conscious aloneness, the ego cannot function.In aloneness, you are not.
I have always been comfortable with my own aloneness as an inner source of love, joy, truth, silence and wholeness. When we depend on other people, it becomes bondage – instead of a freedom.
I took this Sunday as a meditation to be consciously alone, and to accept all feelings of pain, of not being loved and the fear of being nobody that would come up during the meditation. This meditation goes up and down during the day: at certain moments, I can totally accept my aloneness. It feels fine to accept that I am alone and that I am nobody. At other moments, I feel the pain of not being loved, when the meditation brings up how dependence on other people is a barrier to totally accept my aloneness. I take a coffee at a restaurant. I am the only person that sits alone in the restaurant, while the other guests are couples and families eating Sunday dinner. It brings up painful feelings of not being loved and wanting to be needed by other people, when I see how much people cling to each other in the couples and the families.
Escaping your aloneness through relationships and needing other people’s attention through being a teacher, a politician or by being rich or famous are ways of escaping the pain of aloneness. But then the relationships are not really love.
Only when you are capable of being alone, you can really love. When we can be alone, we discover the inner source of love, which is our true nature. When we can be alone, it opens the door to be one with the Whole.
– Swami Dhyan Giten,
The Language of Silence: From Darkness to Light